Ode From a Human to Her Dog Who Thinks He's a Puppy!

From Her:
It must be nice to be a dog
and sleep the evening away.
That is until 2:30 or 3 AM
When you decide you need to---
Whatever!
But, I know you really want a
T-R-E-A-T
or an ear rub
or a walk
or a toy you can reach
or a massage
or some loving,
Did I already say a T-R-E-A-T or an ear rub?
But at that hour, we'd rather be sleeping,
So,
No more
Barking,
Whining,
Moaning,
Groaning,
or Begging,
Or I will get the Fly Swatter!
So just let me sleep!

From the D-O-G!

Why are my humans so darned upset?
I don't get it, I really don't.
They give me food.
They give me water,
and I need those things,
but right now what I really need is:
A treat,
An Ear rub,
A Belly rub,
A Blanket,
A Toy that I can reach
but it smells just like my human when she tosses it.
More food,
More water,
More loving,
A massage.
A Walk,
Did I say ear rub?
I want that squirrel in the back.
Oh, look, I see a cat.
If she'd just give me
What I want,
When I want it,
How, I want it,
Well, Life could be so simple.
So I try to tell her,
I just love her,
but what do I hear?
Fly Swatter!
I don't know what that is,
but it can't be good,
So I go to bed and sleep
until she wakes me up with that smile that says,
"I'm getting even with you!"
But, I do have to go potty,
And I see a squirrel in the yard,
I'll get my food when I come in,
I'll get my treat, too.
I get everything I want,
I just don't get the problem!