Thursday, August 5, 2010

When you Know Someone on the Cancer Journey

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know my daughter, Jenny, has begun her most unexpected cancer journey. Her brother and I are on the journey with her. I know that I can speak for the three of us on this topic.

People want to help, but it's often very difficult.

What do you say? What do you do?

I know this is very hard for some people, but sometimes, the best thing you can say is, "How are you?"

In my situation, if I don't feel like talking, I'll just say, "We're doing all right." Please don't expect a detailed answer on how Jenny is doing or all the latest news. (I do know people who contact me for that very reason.) There is a Caring Bridge site set up for that information.

I love reading the notes that have been left! I am so thankful that we have the kind of support expressed on Caring Bridge.

If you see me on the street, we can say Hi. I might or might answer your questions. It all depends on how I feel. Please remember, this is a very stressful and emotional time for all of us. Distraction is also good for the soul.

You can call me. If I am feeling good that day, I'll either pick up or call you back. There are times when when I won't want to talk, or I'm just tired of repeating the story over and over.
Leave a message of support if I can't pick up the phone for whatever reason.

Send me an email. I appreciate those, as well as calls, very much. I am on Facebook. You can contact me there, too. Sometimes, a note such as the one I received recently that said, "I'm just checking in to see if things are better for you now." Believe me, I truly appreciated that email. It helped me very much on a very low day.

One thing I would ask is if you think that crying together is helpful, please don't call me. I won't talk to you. I cannot be your emotional support. I have a hard enough time supporting my children and me emotionally. You will find that we have a very short conversation if any at all.

Just be a friend. Make me laugh. Make me forget for a few minutes. I do need and appreciate a good laugh.

This is a most difficult journey. It's a path no one wants to travel, but with help, we will make it, some what bruised and battered, but we will make it!

Thank you.


kelleysbeads said...

Hi Mallory, I was in a waiting room for my chiropractor last week and was flipping through one of their magazines. I saw a brief article about They link to yoga studios around the country that provide free yoga classes to women fighting cancer and also the survivors. It made me think of Jenny and I wanted to pass that on.

As a parent, I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. I have had many loved ones in my family fight off many different strains and I know it is not easy. I also know that with each, every one has said prayer helped them the most. I have been keeping your little family in my prayers every day.

Hugs to you. I hope that heat is backing off for you and that Pixie is getting some trips to the dog park. I love seeing pics of her :)

Alesha said...

LOVE the shoes!!!


Right Turn ArtWerks said...

(((((HUGS))))Babycakes! I missed my beddy bye partner this past week. Hahahha, now everyone will wonder what this means. SSShhhhh, I'll never tell.

Anna said...

Healing thoughts and prayers as well as virtual hugs. You're not alone.