Saturday, January 3, 2009

My Name is Tommy

And I hate the one who writes this blog. Well, perhaps, not all of her, but when I am at my house, I hate her right hand. When I am at her house, I truly dislike her. That human does not belong to me, totally, but her daughter does. I like he daughter. She does my bidding, and her hands are nice. I don't hate either of her hands. She feeds me. She takes care of me. I don't like it when she takes me to the vet, but I will tolerate it as long as that human does not stick his finger up my, well, you know. It is most undignified. Where is the food he should be giving me? Why does the mother of the human I have not understand when I tell her my bidding? Perhaps she is slow. My human is not.

This is my human. Her mother does not understand me, but my human does. I don't like it when we go to see her mother. When I see her mother, I hiss and let her know that I dislike her. I also try to bite her right hand. She knows why I don't like her right hand. My human tells me to be good, but I am not the problem. Here is the problem.

I believe they call it Spike. It smells. I don't like it. It comes and barks at me, and I hiss at it. It is a creature that should stay away from me. My human's mother seems to like this creature. I don't know why. I can smell this creature when she comes into my room to say good night or to pet me. I smell her hand, and I don't like that creature they call a Spike. He is most undignified. Why can't he meow and speak cat? Slow creature! Enough of him!

This is Marvin. He is my adopted brother. He is much more shy than I am. When my human's creature comes to the our house, he hides. He, also, smells the creature. Marvin has, at times, allowed the mother of my human to give him a hello backrub. I have allowed it, too, but not with her right hand. She does know why I hate her right hand. I allow her left hand to touch me. Marvin is much younger than I am. He thinks he's the boss, but I have to show him that I am. He doesn't complain much about our human mother's house, but when she comes in, he looks at me to see if it's okay for her to pet him.

I'm tired now. Enough of this. We shall return in the future. My human's mother thinks we're cute. We know we are. We shall return. Oh, my, I can smell that creature!


angelinabeadalina said...

Dear Tommy and Marvin,
I think you are cute! Orange kitties rule! Ahem, sorry, lost my dignified cat repose there. I'm just a teenager, you know. Humans are acceptable, and yours looks to be quite tolerable. I am confused about this Spike creature of which you speak. Could this be a d-o-g? Perhaps you could train him to bring you treats? As for the human's mother, I hear she is very nice. . .maybe your human could buy her some catnip soap?
Sincerely, Momotaro

P.S. Moochie says "Meow."
P.P.S. Marvin, I totally understand the bossy elder cat problem!

Louise said...

Don't worry Tommy, you are not alone! I have a trick when my human is not paying me enough attention - I climb on her lap and lie on her typing arm... mwuahahahah
I am sorry you have to smell that other thing - I don't have one of those at my house thank goodness - although I think we do have an M.O.U.S.E - do you know I went to get my breakfast yesterday morning and the dish was empty all except for one tiny little m.o.u.s.e. poop!! It must have happened when I was sleeping on my humans legs during the night... ..sigh... a cat's life is sooo hard! ooo gotta go, human's coming!!!

Deb said...

Awww cute kitties. Tommy looks like a chilled out dude & Marvin looks quite the regal type.

Rita'z R-tistic Ramblez said...

Tommy and Marvin, I have a Koala who used to share my house with me, she was not a d.o.g. and spoke in meows like me. But, she also made the poo on the floor and tried to convince our person I had done it. Thankfully my mommy loves me best and knew I couldn't have done it. We also share our house with an old funny smelling human my mom calls dad. I think he must be her father. Write another funny story some day. I will read it to him.

Lauren said...

Haha -- too funny! You crack me up! And the picture of Spike is adorable.

Right Turn ArtWerks said...

Tom and Marvelous Marv, this is Nellie here...I've I big crush on Spike. He's a handsome d.o.g. and look at that shnozzola shot of my hambone. You'll come to appreciate him, dare I say "love". Be good to my Spike man or I'll bring my big fuzzy butt over there and sit on you. I've done it before. My Mom's daughter is owned my Millie (she's a Calico) and when she hisses I back up to the problem so she can't claw or bite and sit down. Be super nice to your human's Mom too - I'm watching you! Nellie