Wednesday, December 19, 2012
This All Started with the Front Door.
I checked the weather forecast. What do you mean, it's going to snow? I'm not through with my shopping!!! So, I had better get going, but, wait!
I need to go to the grocery store first! What's wrong with my freezer door? It doesn't close tightly enough. Dang it! It needs to be cleaned out before I go to the grocery store. Well, if I don't go to the grocery store today, I'll have to go in the predicted snow. No, that's not going to work. I better go to the store today, but before I go, I have to clean out the freezer and the refrigerator. Okay, but Pixie has not had any attention all day, and she looks like she needs some attention. Okay, then clean out the refrigerator and the freezer and play with Pixie. I'm not going to go until after supper. Wait! I can't go after supper because I have the laundry to do. Okay, the kids will be coming home, when?
Right now, Charlie Brown is on. I caught a glimpse of him as I raced downstairs with the laundry. The tree is lit. I don't even remember lighting the tree tonight. It's starting to get dark outside. I haven't even turned the lights on in the house. This isn't right.
I stop and sit on the couch looking outside. There's only a little bit of snow on the ground this year. The neighbors across the street have a beautiful setting of lights on their front porch. The neighbor next door just drove in from work. Pixie just came in for an ear rub. She deserves a wonderful ear rub, so I rub her ears. I leave the lights out and pour myself a small glass of wine. I'd like to call some of my family, but not right now. I'll call them later. Right now, I'm caught in a moment. I want this moment.
In the background I hear Charlie Brown talking about the real meaning of Christmas. Looks like I've missed it again this year. Enough is enough. It's not too late. I'm lucky. I'll be able to hug and kiss my children when we get together for Christmas. We'll be able to weave our way through our silly traditions and laugh. We'll be able to play games together. We'll be able to talk about our year and delight in the fact that we are together again.
Yes, this is what I want. Okay, tomorrow I'll clean out the refrigerator and freezer. If I don't get to the store, it will wait until the kids get home. There's time. Now, I want to enjoy this moment to the fullest. I want meditate on what Christmas is really all about. I want to embrace this moment and this day. I'm ready. I'm ready.